


I'm Okay

by khaki_da



Series: Bluepulse fics [6]
Category: Blue Beetle (Comics), Impulse (Comics), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bad Flirting, Bad Puns, Bart is kind of a mess after Wally dies, Bluepulse, But he won't admit it, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, khaji da being a mother hen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 08:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14160480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khaki_da/pseuds/khaki_da
Summary: Bart had always been an expert pretender. He had a way of fooling everyone into thinking everything was fine. After Wally's disappearance, things were no different. It was only a matter of time before someone caught on to his act.





	I'm Okay

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a few months after end game. I wrote this as a birthday present for young-justice-trash over on tumblr!  
> spanish translations at the end  
> [this is khaji da talking to jaime]  
> the beginning of this is inspired by a roleplay between me and the-mouse-of-anon. go check out their fic!

Bart had always been an expert pretender. If it weren’t for the threat of another reach apocalypse, everyone would probably still be under the impression that he was a time tourist from a perfect utopia. He had a talent for putting on a happy face, and no one ever really questioned it. After Wally’s disappearance, things were no different. Bart put on the same joyful, naive, impulsive persona like he always had. He was good at that.

But pretending was exhausting, so Bart started avoiding everyone on the team outside of missions. He would still hang out with Jaime on his good days, though, but those were coming around less and less. Hanging around Artemis or Barry helped for a while, but they would both get so sad around him. Bart eventually realized that it was because he reminded them too much of Wally. It made sense, Bart took after Wally in a lot of ways. And it probably didn’t help that he was the new Kid Flash. Bart hated that his presence caused them pain, so he decided to give them some space, and Artemis and Barry were added to the list of people Bart distanced himself from.

Today, Bart didn’t mind being alone. He needed a break from pretending, and he couldn’t get that at Jay and Joan’s place. Everyone could hear everything there, and right now, Bart didn’t want to be noticed. And for once, the base was empty. Everyone was either off world on a mission or doing their own thing. It was perfect. A prime location for an emotional breakdown.

Bart gave himself a good look in the bathroom mirror at the base. It had been the first time he looked at himself in weeks, and it wasn’t a pretty sight. He had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, and he could probably stand to gain a few pounds. Despite his quick metabolism, he hadn’t had much of an appetite lately. It was honestly amazing that anyone bought his act of being totally fine. Maybe it was because _none of them_ were totally fine, and they couldn’t be worried about Bart right now. He didn’t blame them.

Bart was just about ready to cry when the zeta tube announced someone’s arrival.

_Recognized: Blue Beetle, B22_

“Shit!” Bart jumped at the noise. He wasn't expecting anyone to show up. Usually, if there was one person Bart didn't mind running into unexpectedly, it was Jaime. But this wasn't usually.

Bart really didn't feel like putting on his ‘totally fine’ persona right now, and he _hated_ pretending with Jaime, but he really wasn’t ready for anyone to see him like this. Bart splashed some water on his face, hoping it would make him look less miserable. He took a deep breath, then zipped over to the kitchen.

"Head-man-oh!" Bart threw an arm over Jaime's shoulder. "You came here to make me dinner? How very crash of you!" Bart put a hand on his chest and pretended to swoon. His voice was more hoarse than he would have liked, but aside from that, he felt like he gave a pretty decent performance.

“It’s pronounced _hermano,_ hermano,” A snort of laughter escaped from Jaime’s nose, “and sorry, but I came here to make _myself_ dinner. My mom’s having a get together at the house, so it was either hide in my room and starve, or come here and get some food. Khaji Da has been trying to get me to eat all day, so here I am. But yeah, I can make you something, too.” He grinned sweetly at Bart.

“So, would you say that… Khaji da is... _bugging_ you to eat something?” Bart nudged Jaime’s side.

He was kidding, but there was no hiding the fact that his stomach growled loudly at the mention of food. Bart could really use his own little bug to remind _him_ when to eat.

Jaime didn’t seem to hear Bart’s stomach or his joke - which was a shame, because it was hilarious. Instead, Jaime glared over his shoulder.

“Uh, everything okay?” Bart asked.

“Yeah, a certain bug has a bad habit of being _nosy_.” He scolded, shooting another disapproving look behind his shoulder before opening the fridge to see what kind of food there was.

[Correction: I am being observant, unlike you, Jaime Reyes. The Bart Allen is slightly malnourished and is showing unusually high stress levels. You must ascertain the source of stress. Eliminate it.]

Khaji Da had grown a bit overprotective over Bart ever since Bart had saved them from being on mode. Jaime tried to be annoyed with Khaji Da, but it was kind of hard to be mad at that.

“Nosy...? About what?” Bart felt his ears get hot. He had a feeling it was about him.

Jaime rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, he likes to scan people without really giving a warning.”

"So, he scanned me?" Bart laughed nervously, trying to hide his discomfort. Bart had no idea what kind of information he might get from scanning him. And he had a feeling Khaji Da would not keep whatever information he found to himself. Bart hoped he didn't pick up on more than just his empty stomach, but somehow he doubted that.

"Yeah, sorry," Jaime answered sheepishly, then continued rummaging through the fridge, "...according to him, you’re stressed and you need to eat, like, a lot. I think my abuela is rubbing off on him. He wants me to feed you way too much." Jaime laughed.

“Well I _am_ pretty hungry, so you should listen to him on that one." Bart joked, eager to steer the conversation back to food and only food. “And there’s no such thing as too much food.” Bart smirked, and zipped over behind Jaime, standing tall and leaning his chin on Jaime's shoulder so he could see what was in the fridge, too. "You know, I can make food faster than you."

“Te creo, pero Khaji Da will probably throw a fit over what you make.” He laughed. “He’s got a personal vendetta against junk food. I’m banned from eating cheetos, specifically. If you’re not careful, he’ll try to stop you from eating them, too.”

[An optimal diet is essential for optimal functionality.]

Jaime ignored Khaji Da and pulled out some stuff to make sandwiches. There weren’t many other options, anyway.

"But I _like_ cheetos!" Bart whined, throwing his arms over Jaime's shoulders from behind him, putting all his weight on Jaime just to add to the dramatic effect. "Khaji, you can't take this away from us! I'll never forgive you!"

Jaime snorted again. He was somehow able to pull out some sandwich stuff from the fridge, even with Bart hanging from his back.

“Hey, I’m just glad he hasn’t banned chicken whizzees. At least, not yet.”

 _"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"_ Bart collapsed to the floor and threw an arm over his face. "Khaji Da, level with me here. Chicken whizzees are good for your _soul._ You can't put a nutritional value on that kind of thing!" Bart didn't bother getting up from the floor. He was caught up in the drama of it all, but somewhere along the way he started genuinely enjoying himself, and he didn’t even feel guilty about it.

[There is no evidence of the existence of the soul, or that chicken whizzees are beneficial to its well-being.]

“The two of you are going to kill me, I swear.” Jaime said, trying to hold back his laughter enough to actually make some damn food.

Bart quickly jumped up and firmly grabbed Jaime by the sides of his upper arms. He stared at him intensely in the eyes. "I need you to be honest with me, here. _Are you okay_ , Jaime? Jaime, stop laughing, I'm serious, do you need me to sneak you some chicken whizzees? Because I can do that for you, Jaime. I can find a way."

By now, Jaime had exploded into a fit of laughter, leaning on the counter and trying not to knock over the food.

Bart's dramatics cracked, and he burst out laughing, too. Jaime's laugh was just so contagious, he couldn't help it. God, it was amazing how Jaime could just show up and be himself, and Bart's mask of happiness would turn to real happiness, even if it was only temporary. "Khaji Da, you know cheat days are actually good for you, right?"

[Minimally.]

“He just doesn’t want to admit you’re right,” Jaime snickered.

[Objectively, I am never wrong, Jaime Reyes.]

 _“Mentiroso!”_ Jaime laughed again, and clarified when Bart looked at him questioningly, “He said he’s ‘objectively’ never wrong.” Jaime said in his best Khaji Da voice, using finger quotes on the word ‘objectively.’

"Oh, really?" Bart smirked devilishly, waiting for Jaime to put the half-finished sandwiches down. "So, Khaji Da, I guess you were right about me being a threat then!" Bart leapt towards Jaime to tackle him as soon as the food was no longer in danger of being dropped.

Jaime stumbled a little when Bart came at him, but he was surprisingly able to regain his balance. Bart suspected that was Khaji Da’s doing.

“ _Ay_ , a threat to my balance, maybe!” Jaime buried his face in Bart's shoulder and desperately tried (and failed) to get his laughter under control.

"Apparently not that big of a threat. God, why are you so hard to _push over?_ " Bart leaned further into Jaime, who was somehow still standing firmly in place. "Ugh, I give up." Bart slumped into his friend, with his face in Jaime's chest now so that his next words came out slightly muffled. "I still win," then he stood on his tip toes and leaned his chin over Jaime's shoulder to tease a certain scarab, "because Khaji Da was WRONG!"

Jaime was amazed that he could breathe. He was nearly wheezing as he tried to speak, “I’m just going to stop being the middle-man here, or you two are never gonna stop. If he really wants to talk to you, he can just text you himself.”

Bart tilted his head, temporarily forgetting about their ‘argument.’ “He can do that?”

Jaime nodded.

Bart went back to trying to provoke Khaji Da. He wouldn’t mind getting a text from an alien scarab.

"Fine. Anyways, being so crash and _right_ all the time is making me hungry again.” He stuck his tongue out at Jaime's back over his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t take this anymore." At this rate, it would take hours before they got any food, so Bart made 8 sandwiches as fast as he could, using up all the bread. He set the table and laid the sandwiches out, all before Jaime could react.

“Ta-da!” Bart held his arms up in the air and gave Jaime a cheesy grin, hoping he wouldn’t be offended that Bart took the food prep into his own hands.

“Oh, sorry about that. I think I forgot that I was supposed to be making those.” Jaime admitted.

"It's crash." Bart said while stuffing his mouth full. It took some restraint, but he made sure to leave some for Jaime.

Jaime sat down, playfully bumping his shoulder against Bart’s. They ate and talked for a while, then spent the rest of the day messing around. It was the usual- they joked, they sparred, and Jaime failed to notice whenever Bart was flirting with him.

Bart was actually having fun. It was almost like everything was okay. Almost.

Jaime eventually plopped down on the couch, exhausted. Bart let himself fall on top of Jaime. Jaime didn’t mind at all. They laid there for a while in a comfortable silence before Jaime finally spoke.

“Oye, Bart?”

“Yeah, Jaime?” Bart snuggled in closer.

“I… I’m sorry to bring this up. Khaji Da keeps telling me to say something, but the timing just didn’t feel right before. And, if you want me to drop it, I will, ok?”

“Um… okay?” Bart sat up facing Jaime, not sure if he liked where this was going.

Jaime sat up as well, and met Bart’s eyes. “It’s just… Khaji says you haven’t been eating, and you don’t look like you’ve been getting much sleep, either. Plus, you’re not around as much lately.” Jaime let out a breath, like he was having a hard time talking about this, “I just want you to know that you can talk to me, you know? You don’t have to be alone. I know some other people might not be able to be here for you right now, but... _I’m_ here, okay? Please, I just want to make sure you’re okay…” Jaime gave bart a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.

“Thanks, Jaime. Don’t worry, I’m… I’m okay, really.” Bart said shakily, and he tried to give Jaime a smile in a last ditch effort to keep up his crumbling facade. But when he met Jaime’s intense gaze, there was no denying that Jaime _knew_. “I’m okay,” Bart repeated almost frantically, “I’m okay, really, I am.”

Despite his claim and desperate smile, tears began to leak from Bart’s eyes. “I’m okay, I’m okay…” and then, as if out of nowhere, it finally became too much, and Bart couldn’t keep from sobbing. The tears flowed in an unbroken stream, and Bart put his hand over his mouth, as if quieting himself would hide the fact that he was bawling right now.

“Oh, Bart…” Jaime didn’t hesitate to pull Bart into a firm hug, and Bart was too emotionally exhausted to pretend he didn’t need this. He didn’t have the strength to hold on, so he just sunk into the embrace and buried his face in Jaime’s shoulder to stifle the noise, embarrassed to cry too loudly.

“I’m here, Bart. I’m here,” was all Jaime could manage to say. He cradled Bart in his arms and rubbed his back.

Bart was hyperventilating now. He tried to talk between hiccups and sobs, “Wally… he wasn’t supposed to - if I didn’t - he might still -” Jaime could only understand some of what Bart was saying, but he knew where it was going.

“Bart, no… It wasn’t your fault, Bart, you know that, right?”

At that, Bart’s body heaved in a forceful sob, he was no longer able to speak. He wailed uncontrollably into Jaime’s shoulder like it was a pillow.

“It’s not your fault, Bart, it’s not your fault…” Jaime pleaded. He didn’t know what else to do. Bart only let out a muffled whimper in response.

“Can you look at me?” Jaime waited as Bart slowly pulled away from the embrace, keeping his eyes down while he tried desperately to catch his breath. Jaime cupped Bart’s quivering face in his palms so that he could look into his tear-soaked eyes.

Jaime pressed his forehead against Bart’s, and closed his eyes for a moment while he tried to muster up the strength to speak again. When he opened his eyes, Bart was finally looking at him. Jaime couldn’t help but let a few tears of his own roll down his cheeks.

Jaime moved his hands from Bart’s cheeks to his shoulders, and he gave them a reassuring squeeze. “Listen, Bart, if you and Wally didn’t do what you did, _exactly the way you did it,_ we would _all_ be gone, okay? This was _not_ your fault, do you understand? You, Barry and Wally saved the fucking world, Bart. You saved all of us. You did exactly the right thing.”

Bart fell back into Jaime’s arms. Aside from the spastic breathing and sniffling, Bart’s cries were silent now. He let it out until he was too tired to cry anymore, and Jaime didn’t let go of him until the tears stopped flowing.

Bart finally found the courage to look back up at Jaime. “I- I’m sorry… I don’t know what happened…” Bart managed to say in between sniffles.

“Hey, don’t ever be sorry about that.” Jaime gave one of Bart’s shoulders another squeeze, then wiped Bart’s tears with the thumb of his other hand.

“Thank you, Jaime.” Bart said before leaning forward again into Jaime. This time, Jaime leaned all the way back, holding onto Bart so that they were laying down, cuddling again.

Bart fell asleep almost right away, and for the first time in months, he slept comfortably.

 

...

 

From that point on, Bart started getting texts from an unknown number several times a day, reminding him to eat, shower, and sleep. Apparently, Khaji Da really could send text messages! When Bart needed emotional support, there was always Jaime, but Khaji Da was the one to make sure he was taking care of himself.

Bart helped Jaime out, too. After sharing some research with Khaji Da about the health benefits of a ‘cheat meal,’ Khaji Da stopped being such a stickler, and began allowing Jaime a cheat meal once a week.

Even if Bart might prefer to eat more junk food, having a little bug look after him wasn’t so bad, after all.

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Translations

 

Te creo, pero- I believe you, but

Mentiroso- liar

Oye- like listen or hey


End file.
